“How do you feel?” It’s okay to not have the answer to that—and there’s a more important question we can be asking ourselves.

Especially during the holidays, with lights and jingles around every corner, we can feel a disconnect between the external cheer and our interior life. The call to embrace the spirit of the season may even have the opposite effect, making us feel more down, stressed, or alone. It’s a tricky time of year for many of us, a mixed bag.