Notes From the Department of Bad Ideas

In the aftermath of virtually any plan gone horribly awry, it’s not unusual to hear the person responsible for the ill-advised decision to mutter in his or her own defense, “but it seemed like a good idea at the time.” Yet, as examples from the legal system regularly remind us, those were rarely good ideas—at any time.

Take “Brad” (last name not released) from St. Cloud, Florida, for example. While one could probably fill an entire book with stories of the criminally stupid that begin with the words “Florida man …,” this one is a worthy addition. It seems that Brad allegedly chose to steal from a Walmart in St. Cloud last December. While I don’t condone theft itself, it’s Brad’s timing that particularly surprised me. You see, Brad’s would-be heist occurred during the store’s annual “Shop with a Cop” event, during which law enforcement partners with local organizations to benefit community children and ensure they have a good Christmas. When Brad made his ill-conceived robbery attempt, there were nearly 40 Osceola County Sheriff’s Office deputies in attendance, along with the department’s forensics team, community service team, and Sheriff Marcos Lopez himself. Needless to say, Brad was swiftly arrested, and the Sheriff’s Office soon posted a photo of a dejected-looking Brad in handcuffs, with confiscated items nearby, captioning the photo “Bad idea.”